Hello! My name is Kalib Laughran and I am a senior here at UMass Lowell studying International Business. I work as a Student Peer Coach with Disability Services, and I’m also registered with a disability. The disabilities I’m diagnosed with are social phobia, and fibromyalgia. Social phobia manifests for me as panic attacks and hypervigilance in social settings, and fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition that can flare up from a variety of factors including stress and physical activity. Individually, these disabilities can be very distracting, and together they can make it almost impossible to focus if they are flaring up. Additionally, as anyone with a disability knows, managing disabilities requires focus and can be draining. This means you may not have enough energy to work, do school, and also take care of other responsibilities, like physical health all at the same time. So how do I manage to work and do school with these conditions? Here are my tips for working with a disability:
Pacing
Managing a disability in the workplace and in life is a game of pacing. I tend to work in bursts, and then rest between. It is vitally important to not completely exhaust yourself with work, because the reality of a disability is that it may take you longer to recover than the average person. When considering pace, it is important to take into account all of the possible drains that could affect your discomfort or energy levels. For example, I have to carefully plan which days I go to the store for groceries, and which days I shower. I could do both on the weekend, but on a day with 4 hours of meetings plus homework? Maybe just the shower, and save the groceries for tomorrow. Remember, listen to your body always first, and take breaks when you need them.
Practice
As with most things in life, practice makes perfect. For me especially, practice in the workplace is essential, because it gives me exposure. Consistent exposure to uncomfortable social barriers works as exposure therapy for me. When I go on break, I actually have worse anxiety when I come back than when I was consistently working. So, when not working, it is important to find other ways to keep exposure consistent. Often, when I am feeling a dip in exposure, I use the next tip.
Pushing
Sometimes it’s time to push outside your comfort zone. I typically choose times to push based on how stable my situation is. If I can go about a week without any major life events, responsibilities, or flare ups, I will begin to consider what “barriers” I want to push. Sometimes it will be something social, like a new event or group, or sometimes it will be a physical barrier, like a long walk or trip somewhere new. When choosing a barrier to push, I ensure I plan out how to make it as comfortable as possible, but recognize that I may be a bit uncomfortable, and that’s ok. The whole point is to push into that discomfort and try to still have fun or experience something new. This is one of the most critical steps to achieve personal growth and helps me handle future situations easier. Remember though, pace yourself when pushing. Pushing on a week loaded with discomfort and stress can lead to longer recovery times.
Planning
Careful planning is the key to pacing and pushing. When I plan these days, it is always based around how much exposure I’m comfortable with, and how much pain I’m willing to tolerate. These are what I define as my limits. Pacing is the hardest to get right, but I try to be realistic when I plan. For example, cooking and climbing stairs are things I have to do everyday, but are both painful. Both are critical to working and living. I know that to do these things I need to space them out from each other so I have time to rest, and I need to be prepared ahead of time so I don’t need to take multiple trips on stairs or cook for a long time. Planning for larger tasks or for “pushing” requires careful planning and forethought. I try not to put two large tasks in one day, and I try to push only when I have stability and no other large pressing tasks. Remember that plans can change, and it’s important to be flexible in case you have to spend more or less energy than you planned.
Patience
This is the most important step. All of these things are very difficult to do and impossible to perfect. I don’t get it perfect all the time, and it’s ok to ask for help or patience from others if you get the pacing wrong or push a bit too hard and end up with no energy. It can be frustrating to get it wrong, as the consequences could be pushing back deadlines, rescheduling events, and days of discomfort. However, there is one thing I have learned from working with a disability: the problems and stressors you see can always be altered or worked around. You must work with what your body allows and take time when your body cannot. There will always be another day, and you will find more time as long as you ask others to be gracious. Have patience and kindness for yourself, you deserve it!